TWTS Presents: Music for Wife Guys
Call it dad rock or yacht rock, but don't call it late for dinner. Here's the definitive playlist for you and your wife's boyfriend to jam to.
I kept the scope of this newsletter intentionally broad, because I knew that, someday, the itch would come for me to write at length about, arguably, my biggest secret, the pinnacle of my personal indulgences: dad rock. No matter how much I try to deny it or pretend that my taste in music is better, this is music I will always come back to. And, I think a lot of this music gets a bad rap — while “dad rock” connotes a certain cisgender, heterosexual, middle-aged white dude (both the musician and the key listening demographic), the music itself should be for everybody.
I want to take the idea of dad rock/yacht rock/soft rock/whatever a step further, to encompass the moods of the classic “wife guy,” a person who loves their partner as much as they love being corny about loving their partner. It’s a universal energy — a vibe, really — rather than something ascribed to a gender identity or stereotype. You or someone you love has been a wife guy, or you will be someday; I will be, too. Lean into it.
To get you into this particular headspace, the “Music for Wife Guys” playlist was born. Sit back, crack a cold one, tell your wife you love her, and press play as I take you through the six key archetypes of this playlist (that arguably nuked my Spotify algorithm so now my daily mixes are all St**ly D*n).
Light Story Songs: Rod Stewart, “Maggie May”
The platonic ideal of wife guy rock, Rod Stewart confronts his muse, Maggie — an older woman he’s been sleeping with — to say that he’s just not sure their fling is working for him. Rod’s classic story song goes from 0 to 100, as he tells her in bed that he’s dumping her, and within three minutes, he’s rueing the day he ever met her. Love, amirite?! The story song is a wife guy staple, giving you a loose plot and meandering lyrics to sing in the car.
See also: “Brandy (You’re a Fine Girl)” by Looking Glass; "Rosalita (Come out Tonight)” by Bruce Springsteen (I know that the Boss is a story song legend, but I kept it Bruce-lean or else this would just be a Springsteen playlist).
Grillin’ Jams: Boz Scaggs, “Lido Shuffle”
These are the well-known classics that don’t have a ton of substance other than being a good time. You can literally just add “Lido Shuffle” to a playlist and your streaming service’s algorithm will suggest more of this kind of soft/yacht rock to you. In this song, the titular Lido is a gambler who’s trying to pull off one last heist. Relatable, because your biggest heist? Getting those burgers a perfect medium rare.
See also: “Reelin’ in the Years” by Steely Dan; “The Boys are Back in Town” by Thin Lizzy; “Southern Nights” by Glen Campbell
For the Modern Wife Guy: The Strokes, “Heart in a Cage”
While this playlist has a distinct boomer edge, I want to be inclusive of our Gen X and millennial wife guys. “Heart in a Cage” is a moody anthem that evokes a modern sound with that hint of yearning (see below) you want from wife guy rock. Strokes frontman Julian Casablancas whine-croons about feeling stifled and unable to express how he really feels. Not super relatable, of course, because you’re secure enough to tell her how much you love her, even when you know she’s texting her boyfriend, Steve.
See also: “I Just Don’t Know What To Do With Myself” by the White Stripes; “When You Were Young” by The Killers
Gotta Yearn: Fleetwood Mac, “Go Your Own Way”
“Packin’ up, shackin’ up’s all you wanna do,” sings Lindsey Buckingham, presumably staring Stevie Nicks straight in the face as they air their breakup grievances extremely publicly on Rumours. In “Go Your Own Way,” Buckingham encapsulates WGE (Wife Guy Energy) as he tells Stevie he still loves her and wants to give her the world, but at the end of the day, he would rather let her go than endure what she’s putting him through. WGE is about yearning, but not groveling to the point of being droll — the songs still have to feel light and fun.
See also: “Heartache Tonight” by the Eagles; “Is She Really Going Out With Him” by Joe Jackson; “I Want You to Want Me” by Cheap Trick
Kinda Horny, Kinda Fun: Queen, “Fat Bottomed Girls”
It’s not any sort of dad/yacht/wife guy playlist without songs that are too horny to actually be horny. “Fat Bottomed Girls” is a problematic fave, as Freddie Mercury gives his most macho, chauvinistic vocals to nerdy-ass guitarist Brian May’s ode to Pixar Moms. Given the context, a bisexual rock god singing about dump truck asses is more like an inside joke than anything else, but I had to include songs that are too gimmicky to be sexy, but try their best to be. It’s the wife guy way.
See also: “Hooked on a Feeling” by Blue Swede, “Sex on Fire” by Kings of Leon, “Let Me Roll It” by Paul McCartney/Wings
I Love My Wife: 10cc, “The Things We Do for Love”
Lastly, it doesn’t have Wife Guy Energy if it doesn’t include wholesome songs about adoring our wives. 10cc is the quintessential soft rock band, and “The Things We Do for Love” is a cute-bordering-naïve exploration of the lengths we’d go to give our wives the world. Tell her how much you care before your wife’s boyfriend Steve does. Goddamn Steve.
See also: “Everywhere” by Fleetwood Mac (arguably the only legitimately cool song on here); “Uh Oh, Love Comes to Town” by Talking Heads; “You Make My Dreams” by Hall and Oates
If you did not directly hate listening to this playlist or reading about it, I accept pocket change on Venmo, @tay_fult.