The Legend of Terry Boatass

Who is this guy people tweet about on Sundays? Is that his real name? And what's so interesting about him?

The Boatass creed. (Netflix/@AceAnbender on Twitter)

Two months ago, I had a really miserable bout of food poisoning, and, aside from drinking Body Armor (which kinda slaps) and sprinting to the bathroom (which slaps considerably less), I laid under a weighted blanket and watched TV. It was at this time I found Formula One: Drive to Survive, a Netfix original documentary series offering a behind-the-scenes look at the international motorsport. An intro course for the uninitiated and an offseason fix for F1-lifers, Drive to Survive hooks you instantly on its sweeping views of bombastic race courses, slightly-overblown-but-still-real interpersonal drama, and unprecedented access to the inner machinations of the sport’s drivers, engineers, and team executives. Over the show’s three seasons, you essentially “unlock” more storylines as premier teams¹ offer the documentary crew more access, recognizing that the show only serves to boost their public image.

Because of this, it’s not until the most recent season that DTS profiles Finnish racer Valtteri Bottas. Longtime fans have known him since his F1 debut in 2013 with Williams Racing, a modest, mid-tier organization that promising drivers have used as a springboard to higher-caliber cars and teams. He eventually moved to Mercedes, a household name in F1, alongside Lewis Hamilton, a champion driver recognized beyond the sport both his talent and commitment to social justice. Throughout their five years together at Mercedes, Bottas has played somewhat of a “gunner” role for the team, doing his damnedest to prevent other cars from passing Hamilton (who’s usually up ahead of him), but rarely racing his own teammate for individual gain. It’s a tale as old as time — Valtteri Bottas is a strong, competent, unassuming driver in his own right, who happens to race alongside one of the most beloved and famous athletes in his sport.

Enter Terry Boatass.

His name first came up as a joke in March 2021, on the college football podcast Shutdown Fullcast, when co-host Spencer Hall tried to convince his fellow hosts, Holly Anderson and Jason Kirk, to get into F1.² They collectively find Bottas’ name amusing, riffing on the idea of “a race car driver named Boatass,” culminating in the idea of a Boatass family racing dynasty in NASCAR.

The thing you need to know about Terry Boatass, though, is that he’s not just a comedic riff. As his time with Mercedes has gone on (and may come to a close, but we’ll get to that), Terry Boatass has become very, very real.

You actually see the start of Bottas’ jokerfication during the DTS episode I mentioned earlier, a year before the creation of his niche nickname. At the 2020 Russian Grand Prix, he gave a rival driver a “tow” during qualifying, essentially giving an aerodynamic edge that resulted in Bottas starting in third, rather than second. To the chagrin of Hamilton and Mercedes, he did this intentionally and largely without remorse, justifying this rogue decision because, on the Russian track, third is a more competitive spot to start. Bottas won the Grand Prix, to (as the show paints it) little fanfare.

Terry, after winning the Russian Grand Prix. (Netflix/@WTF1 on Twitter)

It’s here, in the qualifying debacle and underwhelming victory celebration, that you see a transformation from Valtteri Bottas, eccentric-but-stoic F1 driver, to Terry Boatass, Chaotic Neutral in a metal death box. You see a man with a twinkle — or maybe a twitch? — in his eye, no longer a conduit of the racing gods. Terry Boatass controls his own destiny.

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Fast forward to 2021. Mercedes is not a lock for the driver’s or constructor’s championships, being pushed by Red Bull Racing in competition at every step. There are rumors that a young, talented driver on the Williams F1 team, George Russell, is primed for the second seat at Mercedes next year. You would think such pressure would get to any driver, even an experienced one like Valtteri Bottas, right?

Wrong. Where Valtteri Bottas is a staid, reliable member of the racing grid, Terry Boatass is a cowboy. His own man. Unmoored by morality and loyal to only himself, he lives purely in the moment, unaffected by neither future nor past.

I literally could not tell you what is going on here if I tried, but I know that this is Terry, not Valtteri. (Reddit)

This season, Terry Boatass is a rogue agent on wheels, savoring the opportunity to burn out instead of fade away. During a practice for the Styrian Grand Prix, he spun out in the pit lane, costing him three places after qualifying (though he still came in third in the actual race). A week later, in the Austrian Grand Prix³, Lewis Hamilton had car trouble, and Boatass’ crew of engineers finally said the five little words every redheaded-stepchild driver wants to hear: “go ahead and race Lewis.” Getting the chance to overtake his teammate, with Mercedes knowing he was their best shot at points that day, Boatass finished in second to Hamilton’s fifth.

BUM CHILLUPS AKA SPENCER HALL @edsbs

SAILS UP IT’S BOATASS TIME

The most interesting moment of the Boatass era (so far), though, came this past weekend, when, at the Hungarian Grand Prix, Terry chose to compete in a completely different sport: bowling. In wet track conditions, Boatass failed to brake quickly enough on an early turn, causing a massive collision that took five drivers out of the race (plus himself) and damaged his team’s number one competition, Max Verstappen, ON LAP ONE. While, thankfully, no one was hurt, the Internet had a field day, with “Boatass” seeing a spike in mentions on Twitter on August 1 (race day). For his part, Boatass very plainly tweeted that the crash was his bad, alongside a hilariously sad photo of him sitting on the track wall, examining the meaning of life and his purpose in it. (He will receive a five-place penalty at the start of the next race in four weeks, regardless of how well he qualifies.)

Much to think about. (@ValtteriBottas on Twitter)

While we don’t know what’s going to happen in the second half of the season, nor do we have any idea what Boatass’ future at Mercedes holds, the appeal, the legend of Terry Boatass endures. You don’t need to be a Fullcast listener, or be extremely online, or even care about F1 to completely get the humble cowboy with flashes of personality who answers to no one but himself. You already know exactly who this guy is, causing a stir that he probably doesn’t give a flying fuck about. All vibes. He doesn’t owe us shit. And although you can probably chalk it up to a quiet Scandinavian upbringing and years of media training, Boatass is a blank canvas with just enough funk for us to use our imaginations and write a whimsical backstory for him. Perhaps it’s the same story of independence and untethering from obligation that we want for ourselves.

1. I always said I wouldn’t get too sportsy on you, but for some context to those new to racing, an F1 team is an automotive organization that seeks to build, refine, and race the most competitive car they can. F1 breaks down its point system into both individual drivers based on race finishes, and team performance (aka the “constructor’s championship”). Each team has two drivers — while both aim to score points and get the best finishes possible, teams make strategic decisions in-race to ensure both drivers support each other to get the best team result possible.

2. Big ups to the Moon Crew Discord for knowing precisely in which episode Terry Boatass is first mentioned.

3. For those of you know that Styria is in Austria and that seems redundant, this was done by design. Due to the pandemic, they raced in Austria twice.